soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
sarcasm needs its own font
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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