Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
