Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
