why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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