Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
