Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
