My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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