Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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