Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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