I showed him my bush... on skype.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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