so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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