I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.