I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
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I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.