I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
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It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You ate ashes out of my bong