Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend