69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
