1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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