better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
