We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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