I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize