Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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