fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
