i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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