Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
