So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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