I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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