My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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