you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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