We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize