GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
