Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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