Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
