Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
