He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
