Hey man sorry I got all grabby
this beer tastes like vomit already
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
