Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
