i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
