it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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