I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
