Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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