my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
