Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
