Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
