I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
