So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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