and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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