Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
