I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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