Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize