I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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