Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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