i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
