Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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