"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
