i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize