I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
im on a boat
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