I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
