You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
