oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
