Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
