Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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