Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im six kinds of drunk right now
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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